Seasoned Reminiscence A Culmination

I have been switching between two houses in Bangalore and adapting to new environment is taking the hell out of me. Having bitter cold and cough lately (It had been 8 years I was into some serious cold), I got bedridden with serious sex bomb shells getting me out of bitter sleep. Each time I have this I feel pity about myself. Recently I am worn out of stress and not having good dreams…rather than seeing a snake , a teeth being pulled out ….or some sex related stuffs and goddamned sleep being interrupted…I need some good rest .These are the strange symptoms you can have when you are really upset or your mind is having some issues going on. Have you come across these symptoms? Today when I woke up with some queer sex scenes interrupting me …I cursed the day and having slept too much in a damp room with no light. It is too cold in Bangalore and rather doesn’t feel like going to office. Hah the New Year is tomorrow and I am setting new brand “ New Year Resolutions ”. But I feel whateve

Wish you all A Merry Christmas, May the Joys of the season Fill your heart with goodwill and cheer. May the chimes of Christmas glory Add up more shine and spread ...Smiles across the miles, To-day & In the New Year.

Struggle is the father of all things. It is not by the principles of humanity that man lives or is able to preserve himself above the animal world, but solely by means of the most brutal struggle...Adolf Hitler

When you come to me and I am connected in depth Swinging with you as if a lullaby sung together It reminds me of a dream unleashed I can’t overcome your overly soft caressing You touch me every aurora e I can’t deny you as you come with all passion  While in travel, you solace me I am unconscious for a few seconds And return back to normal equilibrium,repeatedly As I need to indulge  And you come at odd times Why don’t you conquer me at dusk? I am awake and fully vigorous At midnight I am alive,Did you care me? When I need to be fresh, I am dull This is your subjugation I lost many valuable moments  And valuable credits Because you conquer me all times Quiet and stay wide around me Tranquilized and deep conquest That is you,my lover My "nap" you are "awesome"

I have been working on stuffs that impact in a great way to my company. Imagine if I am not there? The profit and loss according to a professional organization will not be affected on my absence because they can easily replace me with a new candidate. The only thing that helps me is knowledge accumulated over the time and nothing mind blowing or surprising. The job just gives you the salary and that is it. So why hover around the job in tension and waste additional time which is for leisure time with family. The career is important for all and so is that to me. Why not spent quality time on jobs and then rest in cool air? Did that give you some sense? Just give it a thought. How drastic it is to be without the family or you are no more a part of your family. Somehow your family lost you due to an irrevocable death at adverse time. At a young age you lost life due to an accident, incurable chronic disease or something worse as being killed by some quotation crews. Living in Gods own Co

I was rather alone in my sister’s house. Usually Malu keeps me busy with her little tantrums and cry. But lately I feel lonely, since Malu visiting her Amma Si(My second Sister)along with my Mom. Her absence makes me numb at times. As I am sluggish at bed, my new hobby is to find time in bed sleeping. No good work to do. Sometimes I feel guilty of my mood because I feel I never helped my sister to do household works. But I am doing something. Making me wake up in the morning is rather a troublesome work for Deej and he always complains of not getting a tea made of my hands (“Great great Hands of mine”). Sometimes complaining of me and tells he will never come to me. He has been complaining past 3 years and I haven’t changed even a bit. Before him my dad got the chance for grabbing me off the bed. Now he is not with me and has gone to Gulf for an after-retirement job I should say. Sometimes I feel pity of him doing work at this age. Since Mom is along with me to look after Malu he has n

Sometimes naïve at my thoughts…but   Even when everything is fine When the clock ticks right… When sun shines brightly over me I am ignorant of you… I want to elope… Sometimes into my inner self Sometimes crossing boundaries…far away… I want my feelings to trespass… Will that heaven what everyone talks about… Give the solace I am seeking…? Happy about matters…that makes a life… “A life”…as we call it… Does that make me or you that happy? Do I seek that? What everyone wants…. Somewhere loneliness creeps …for that feel… And then I crave for it… “Peace “what everyone calls… Not that conundrum in general…. But” Inner Peace” …. That’s what that matters… I want to find you somewhere In my journey … far away…

The importance of life and the value of being there in this earth is something which is a good feel and is important to each one of us although as a whole it only adds a count more. Only few sections of the people know you and rest abundant mass is ignorant about you .But then each one is important in one way or the other. We strive to live successful in the society and commune with fellow beings which make us the world. Being the fact that you are among them and you are no different keeps you confident because you are likely to behave the same manner as the rest of the lot. So how about being different? Rather mentally different? Just think how queer it is the mentality of a lunatic if he is conscious of his mental disability. Living with the disorder is pathetic and when you know that mentally your are unfit to exist in the world without the medicines may keep you at low pace. Each and every feel that you have is because of your mental illness and the feel that your nature may harm

The Goddess Saraswati is often depicted as a beautiful, light-skinned woman dressed in pure white often seated on a white Nelumbo nucifera lotus (although Her actual vahana is believed to be a swan), which symbolizes that she is founded in the experience of the Absolute Truth. Thus, she not only has the knowledge but also the experience of the Highest Reality. She is mainly associated with the color white, which signifies the purity of true knowledge. Occasionally, however, she is also associated with the colour yellow, the colour of the flowers of the mustard plant that bloom at the time of her festival in the spring. She is not adorned heavily with jewels and gold, unlike the goddess Lakshmi, but is dressed modestly — perhaps representing her preference of knowledge over worldly material things.Wikipedia

Free Photos Angels Fairies Mermaids Gothic Photos Glitter Graphics http://kaalchakra-graphics.blogspot.com/

That hope gone grotesque… And when I fancy that feel… Sometimes a laugh, then a cry… And all seems a fickle What strikes my mind, at times? Sometimes a desirous venture At other times just a notion… When I subjugate myself inner… Am away from outer Wrapping my heart intensely Contagion in any form I don’t want to get involved When I keep it secure… Like a fetus inside a womb… I just put it inside… No more of wrath… Now I compassionate my feelings Myself, rather than a wandering I feel solemnized in me… No one can love me No one can protect me No one can Care me Being myself I Seek solace in me…

Oru Venel Puzhyil thelineeril Pulari Thilangi Mookam…. Illagalil Pookalil Ezhuthi njan elaveyil ayi nine… Meghamai enn thazhvarayil,thalamayi enn athmavil… Nenjilakum Manchiravin nanam pol ninnalum…. Heard this song? The lyricist mindset is beyond imagination. Creations are multitude and sometimes feelings are so subtle I want to think like that. Craziness and when it flows through words gives freshness of love which are rarely met in reality. Imagining the lover s feel for his sweetheart yesterday and repeatedly going back and forth the lyrics gave me so much happiness and pleasure and this is the love what each one wants .The appreciations flows naturally and the feelings one creates in another one’s mind is great .In fact I don’t find any word in dictionary for that feeling. If Lord created nature and universe and his imaginary world is bounded to a lover, (this is a crazy imagination of mine) how will this lyrics be when it is sung by him for his heartthrob. Note:Yo

A new job in Bangalore making me nasty and the feel for visiting family members at Trivandrum in the verge of Pooja holidays…resulted in havoc for booking the tickets. The whole issue loomed with a hell lot of opinions from family members for Malavika’s Vidyarambam.I was busying myself convincing my dear ones .One party wanted to go to Mookambika and my better half wanted it at his favorite temple in Trivandrum. Emotional outbursts from both sides…. me in turmoil! What to do?…. :P So I totally supported my better half and tried to book ticket for Friday.Atlast we reserved tickets and I and Malu boarded the bus on Friday night. Now a more hyperactive Malavika became all the more euphoric seeing the bus seating’s and the new space she got. Now not many was able to sleep in that bus because of this tiny tots lullaby singing (no one can make out what she says :P )and naughty cries .People started giving me blank stares with a notion like what on earth this crazy lady boarded bus with this

I hate betrayal ;)

I told you I am deceptive… Deep down I am conquered… By a love unseen… An abysmal affinity… I play around… I make you ignoramus… I will put my thumb upside down Just for you…just a folly… Enjoyed …Your Indulgence… And then the glee And the chunk of extreme jubilance… After so long…I rejoice… But see my veracity was lost… And I play around… I used to see sparkle in your gaze… But indifference makes me Too good a girly girl… The pain within hasn't subsided… So what will come out of it…? Painful deeds and hoaxing… :) So black holes seem better. .. To doom… Rather than falling for me… Change the path and the course… I rifle through equivalent souls… I am not a Mephistophelean… Enough dear… Too hard to digest you…

I feel secured at this stage… Nurturing a family… Daily chores and sometimes Bitter rage for silly criticisms… Yet I love to hear… Sedative by nature… Working for mere satisfaction… So many miles to go… Yet I am still here… Where are my goals? I haven’t yet started…. My dreams …unfulfilled… When will that day arise? I am obsessed by success factor Great talents …I want to grow… Multitude aims… Want to reap heaps… But when will that day come for me? When life turns favorable… When success and happiness tune… Too many miles to go? Will I grow old before I see… The miracle before me…? Will my life end before I see The happiness before me…? I want to grow in more… To achieve… A state of beauty of life… A great elation… What every one desires…

When tears makes you heavy… When too many souls makes you cry… When nobody is beside you for solace… When everyone reprimands you in a bad way… Who are the culprits? Who is playing background …? High end turns against you… Even a single soul doesn’t help you To Come out of this situation Life s in turmoil Bitter grudges…when will I take revenge? Because worthiness makes me too good That I don’t how to take revenge… When great friends are your foes… I don’t believe you…and I don’t give a damn… Because world is round … And whoever plays around me They will suffer bitterly… Leprosy will be ashamed of itself To catch you… Because they will suffer better than that… Not even a soul will give your droplets When they will die… I curse you for your utterly degraded act You degraded yourself into a worm… And you will suffer like a worm… This is a curse and it will affect your life…. You and the whole of your generations will suffer… Dear friend I didn’t ex

Now that is gone, I am happy… They don’t deserve you And you have more wild paths to traverse… May be a new horizon will arrive… And you will illuminate with glow on your face… Since a life path was wrong Doesn’t imply that a whole life should suffer… Love heals and so are memory glitches… Going further…you will enjoy more than ever… Life has more in store for you… You are here and will go and grow more… None has ever comprehended as much as you…. So many desirous paths to undertake … Whoever ignores you give them a damn… Because you’re inner beauty should be touched By a man worthy of himself… Why should tears make you heavy…? Shed it for worthy idols… You are here to make your life solemnized… Don’t let yourself down… You are beautiful and you brighten up the world With magnificent radiance and sparkle Go for more and life will swing the way you wanted… Come on!!!Gear your life to that compact mode… Dont give your heart for loathsome creatures... If you

There are times when I simply sit and think of all the nice moments I had, yet sometimes I am not happy because sadness overrules me most of the time. Why is it that all are not born alike? Now my thinker wave started bouncing for more curious stuffs in life. Nowadays I don’t get enough time for reading. That makes my writings monotonous and not lively because I find it difficult to pick up the exact words that are appropriate to the context. Now you may be wondering what this lady is going to put up here through her words? Now I will take the help of philosophical stuffs to clarify my doubts and also help others understand what I am going to convey. I don’t know whether it is mere imagination that I am having or a nice sleep I had after a beautiful dream. Various signs and signals conveyed through the cosmic waves keep me lingering about the existence of some high energy that controls the whole Universe at one go. May be the feeling of someone exists with you is something very diffic

Too many desires… I heard your deep voice far from woods… A beautiful flute music played by you… As I walk along the alley… I just doubted your presence… The raga waved along with the wind… Only to be heard by me… My loneliness and your playfulness Matched ….As your enthralling presence Gives absolute contentment… My devotion and your divine grace… Puts me in an ocean of mesmerizing intuitions… Now what I perceive is sacred… The dark leaves that sprouts And the dark face I adore… All in one… I am obsessed by my feelings … It is only for you… Now it grows high…and then a recess… Bounded with you and yet apart... I owe you my life… Nothing less can make me happy… Because I am proud of a lover Who can make me a devotee of himself… And the feelings that emanates in me… A compelled cultivation by you… Now you will go…yet a heart beats… You make each day beautiful… The feelings I have for you… Is compassionate…and lovely… Now I am happy for a happy heart…

I had a bad sleep and then a bad thought of Beypore.The name Beypore passed my mind like an electric wave the day before the incident of boats being washed away took place. The Malabar area was in turmoil due to heavy rains that day. And how Beypore stuck my mind the day before the incident?Panicking….I am dreaming Realities?OMG…

The reason for my destitute And a victim of many a blues The act of bitter cannibalism Whilst I am a human by nature… Doth out of ignorance or feral naivety… Awkward adolescence… Left an embarking mentality… Curse myself for a conduct I hate… yet love to do… At this age I wanted to overcome The fear of delusion By Nature it is a blessing yet a curse… How will I weigh the pros and cons…? I am subjugated … Yet likeliness to this … I love to desire through my thinker cells… Who will not love the beauty of love? Despair and then the pain... It’s all in me… Sometimes a lonely killer instinct covers me… Yet sometimes natural lover instinct kills me… And why not I love all these? Because my thinker beast Is made that way… The way I wanted… Beautiful yet naïve and dangerous… But no harm will I cause to anyone …. But I am fond of killing me Sadistically… To grow a beautiful mind So I behave extroversive… But I am a submissive demeanor… Will a cannibal drive c

Will you ever say that to me? Even if you feel, you won’t… It is just a feeling…Passes with time… The pain goes with wind…Still a vicious cycle... I am circling around and around Till the happiness and sadness Makes me bright and beautiful How much I longed to hear that… No one ever said until you did once… And then the wind took away your words… The feeling of oneness passed with time… Life embarks on us pain upon quench feelings… Feelings that never repeats…it’s quick and succumbs… Holds me near to you…yet apart… I feel this way…that keeps me on and on… What is at your end…? I don’t know... You are always humble and dearest to all... I feel alone now…till now I was enjoying… I am digging down my heart for a treasure A lovely feel for you…which makes you happy ever… When my heart cries … when all the blood and flesh are out… I will feel sweet because I hold a treasure for you… The golden trunk full of lovely feelings for you… Will it make a happy you? Will tho

I was filled with air of love and joy when we thought of a celebration of Deejs birthday at home. I was so much excited when his Achan and Amma along with sister in law and her daughter Meenamma came to our house. We prepared culinary items for them which included Sāmbhar, Aviyal, Thoran, Pulissery….pappadam...achar etc …and of course not forgetting those yummy payasams after a relishing sadya … We woke up a bit early and prepared the items when Malumma (My daughter) was busying herself with her routine work of untidy chores. She was making me busy with her naughty work and I still don’t know how I and my mom prepared sadya .She was more than happy when her sister( Meenamma ) came....calling her ‘ Chechi Chechi’ and I cannot forget the love they had for each other even having fights in between for toys. I and sister had lots of chit chats telling all those ’ visheshams ‘at Cochin and Nedumangad areas with gossips of neighbors and teasing each other with funny little lov

Hoping to make the best of me… Words broken…Time worth its time… I have no words for you A feeling that mumbles me…when I see you… I love to smell the air … that embraces us… The music of love twines us… Separation for even a few moments Delicate prickling hearth upon heart… You leave me yet you don’t leave me… Speed makes us live with ecstasy… You need me yet you can’t… That is the way life owes us… Some few precious memoirs and moments Far …how far destiny binds us The air cause me deep love for you The feeling when you are near Crush me to non existence… I am no more than a slave Yet I can’t be… You are mine…Yet you are not… You are going away Yet I don’t want to be…. I want to feel the air when you are near me… Things change and so are you… Let it be that way… the way you like… No regrets…that is life Let it swing the way it want to be… I am a borne looser …let it be that way…

Is Krishna Tulsi someway related to Lord Krishna?...Then I have one more story to narrate...

Posted without re reading...Inspired by a gem in himself.... There are so many things I wished to do ….I wish I be a social worker where I can treat the poor and needy. Sometimes I feel that a graceful saint will make my life because he can bring fortune, he can turn the negatives into positives by his miraculous power, Sometimes I want to be a politician…he can serve the human mankind for its betterment…but what we see now…When I wrote politician immediately the last line flowed through me… but what we see now…Now every one s view of a politician is bogus. Many new social worker s have emerged but nothing good other than their belly fillings and pocket fillings. Numerous saints have been caught on occasions of rape…what are we hearing of lately is all bogus…Humans have reached the ultimate satans in this beautiful world…Now I cannot say beautiful world because here we can find only wastes, slums and dumping dumping dumping in fact can be called a hell…When are we going to break open

Today I am far more bored than ever .Yesterday had a stuff to work on but the requirement was not precise so I quit and thought of calling my client. I got a mail and was more than ever happy of getting one which on reading the few lines and checking the programs died off because I didn’t have the queer idea how to start it. Working on SAP was a bit sophisticated but enjoyable if you know the crux and have navigated through the nook and corner of the technicality. Reading books pertaining to SAP was good and working on it was awesome. Gradually this has now became a routine and no chaos were found up to now rather than getting stuck somewhere with Google, Gmail Chats, LinkedIn FB,etc coming in handy for friends who are experts in the subject matter. I am already thankful to a lot of colleagues who came in for help and I keep a handful of friends connected with me always. It had been quite some time that I have worked on other areas of SAP other than Reports and Module Pools. But the qu

I sat beside my window A fragrance of jasmine … Touched, making a calm breeze Waver in the twilight Colors of rainbow, Painted the clouds… Altruistic minds prayed… For Nature’s clemency… Reddening up like a baking oven… Thunder and storm clasped hands… Roaring out loudly… Hurting itself…Scolding itself… For the destined suffocation I can’t bear anymore…it cried Don’t you hear me? Water gushed out from Mountains and Rivers…Rain poured in Mother Earth cried Cooling herself …Wiping away tears Sad sickening cry of her beloved ones… Of poverty…of illness…of suffering Borne by the Mother...Bestowed on duty Lord, why make all cry? Making a culprit in you… At last she broke her heart… She poured in to kill her pain… Smell of Jasmine filled the air… A silent night creped in Deadening the outrageous cry.

My heart feels Thy touch so tender, Thy feel so eternal, Thy heart so pure. Love, I feel for you… My soul touches, Thy hand so gentle, Thy heart full of love, Thy depth of merriment, Together we share our joy… I stand before you, My heart for you, My soul for you, Together we feel sadness… My heart feels, Your love as dewdrops, Drizzle of joy entails, As you hold me near…. I love the way you love me, My love, we be, Always together, Alas! Love is eternal, Actors part away in life….