Seasoned Reminiscence A Culmination

Deep down Beyond Mariana Trench I lay calm...my eyes shut Superfluous mind Serine and warm Tranquility...I am at peace Far and far I see you Mystic sky... souvenir thoughts The swing waving in the air Curtains flowing in two and fro I see...beauty of my fathomed mind The experience so high Bliss Connecting minds Dark and deep Among the woods I wander In the scenic and subtle momentum Blessed with enlightenment I want deep tranquility Take me beyond and far At the deepest concave route I lay blessed and at peace with my mind

I am happy that I am relieved off stress now and I am taking a new direction to a way to success let alone my mind wander in loneliness. Now reading some blogs on Times of India regarding spirituality makes me more positive towards the worlds bitter and crazy thought structure. Maybe I don't fit now there or God has destined to move me further up a level, that is what I think, a positive way ...still when I am crutched from beneath. I don't know anything as of now, what I am up to or where my destiny is heading towards... Mastering my mind is a very big task of nurturing from beneath like watering a beautiful plant to grow more beautiful with elegant leaves and flowers and budding to grow more...This task needs to be done on a regular basis and I am keen on doing this for another year or two ...then take a break and travel to some great places where I can capture wonderful flora and fauna...go mystic...get into trance and wander as if the only free bird gyrating into hig...

Who will know me better than you Whom my secrets unrevealed Yet you know everything My pains...My helplessness When I sit alone thinking of you When I share my pains When I cry before you You came as a child To seek solace for me How much I adore you How much you understand me It's only you Whom my love and gratitude is for Silence and pain And when I cry and heal I feel a beautiful hand Soft and with red blood marks I am sitting on your lap as a child And you kiss my hands And a dove sits on your shoulder And I am sleeping on your chest Jesus you have suffered much For us...And still take up our pains I feel consoled when I see you And your beautiful eyes Fixed on me and you love me I know...that..Oh God.

Ha my love Did you mean That I am beautiful? When I am partially awake You hug me ...during sleep And then its just a feel I owe my life And my destiny To you Did I hear you say from far I love you Ha its just a thought. Then when I drink wine And am half asleep You say I adore you Oh that was just a dream In fact Who have ever said From the bottom of his heart That I love you And that's just a three letter word Which changes with time And destiny and money But I say I owe my life to you One who hears me from beneath Thats you...my love Maybe apart And then united Still you exist To hear me Thats love When all odds against We survive To love. And love is unique And so you are

Spontaneous Energy Blurting out my food Nauseated And frustrated!!! And it is summer Sweat trickling down my face And  thoughts Came out slowly Endless nights without sleep Provoking me To wait outside For a creative thought Grabbing a mini book I just drew some vague Pictures of idols Not turning up good My mood at its worse Thoughts are rather clumsy Unclean and clotted Dressed in a kurta I lay bare To seek out knowledge Which carved me all these days A single thought may change a life A right time for decision And my destiny written No time for tears You have to leave me In this vast world alone and alone

So when engineering days are back in my memory,I can't forget the final semester days .Maybe I am so attached I felt a terrible pain somewhere in the deep corner of my heart.As I was out of college,I moved to Trivandrum in search of a job which is very difficult for me.So I went for the Dotnet Course In CDAC.I roamed around the city instead of gaining some knowledge over there.I visited many places and made each day refreshing and live. Trivandrum is famous for Temples and I found it easy going to nearby Temples especially Srikandeshwara Swami Ksethram and Udayinnur Devi ksethram.Memories were bound here for me and I walk all the way to the house.I rather kept visiting the Sri Ramachandra Mission Hospital where they provided Gita Classes.Then I completely forgot Kannur and never got good chances of Visting Kannur ,though sometimes we go there in Train which was an 12 hour journey and I felt horrible. The looms and lores of the Kannur City was different from Trivandrum in ...

Maybe I am doomed I can only talk about destiny Or least I am weak physically But what is that going on? Maybe a torturing love Which is crippling me forever Or a weak me Which I have kept in front of you Maybe a love consciousness Make me more hurting I just planted a garland on you Kneeling down Begging to ease my pain The very next day My turmoil day started I just lay astonished I said to you...I love you And I am bound to destine my life Before you I lose whatever maybe I still hold on you You are beloved for me Will you get a better devotion? Than mine What lay before me A life vast and serine With your love And then I will succeed There is always a pain Somewhere down the deep heart That heals when I think of you Warmth of Love When I hold you near Still I am just a devotee

I was seated Among four others in a bench And I remember two guys Came on to take class They were smart Just out of graduation Dedicated…And I could see Determination flowing Out of one I loved his class I was always behind him asking questions And a very happy and Enthusiastic as ever he answered my questions How can I ever forget him Whom we all so much admired Graphics was easy because of him He made us understand the difficult Subjects the best possible way All in all he was good man At the Core level A lovable man for all Yet God was never been with us  Who took us our favorite teacher The day I heard the news I didn't feel like talking with anyone Rather didn't feel like eating as well Because I came to know that Our beloved Teacher Has become Beloved for God as Well A compassionate brother, a friend And a person who gets angry with us When we make mistakes Sincere to the core...

Some feel about Engineering Days:Never Wanted to edit or correct any flow of memories which was coming spontaneously... Now thotummal memories pulls me back to the engineering college days …During the initial days of my study (I am never a good student) my dad was very enthusiastic about me joining Thalassery Engg College because it was near to house…no hostel fees….My ego was crippling me because I am the daughter of an Engineer who studied in REC and was the 4 th Rank Holder in Engg and a poor me was just admitted to a new Engg college with not even an Affliation to hold.Forget about the rank I received in Engg.I am never a good student and was always caught for mischievous deeds. Way back one of my relative who taught Dad and who is a Principal…told me while in a wedding…”Mohans Daughters didn’t come up to the mark as how Mohan did .He is an extraordinary student”…What a stupid comment to make…also she said no one turned as beautiful as Usha(Mother) also.Crap…Bored with all...

My life begins or my memory of life begins as early as 3 years and it was my first Christmas Day and Santa Claus came to my house .I could remember the yellow windows and doors of our quarters in Idukki and I remember my mom gave me 2 Rs to handover to the Santa Party. I have a vague memory of the steps beside our house, the perakka maram where my mom places me in between the big ants while she busily talks with her friends or neighbors. The ride was in school bus with My best friend(balyakaalasuhruthu) Vijay(I don't know where he is now) and he showing me the River and Saying in Tamil "Vava Aruvi Paaru"...and stealing sugar and banana from every houses in the Engineers area... Also can't forget the big pit my dad showed me in their what they call Power House ....oops seeing that I vomited....Idukki was always a dream land for me and being there during my childhood was an everlasting memory for me..Although I dont remember much because I was moved to Kannur whi...