Atoms of Love... :)

Now what has changed me ?I beget more happiness and I feel relaxed to an extent that it is turning into sheer boredom ...Ufff :(.Now that I am getting more time for reading and reading on and on. Intervals of havoc stricken times make me down and then I crush deeper into a naive trance. That mystism which is beyond or worth experiencing is not bored, I have a mixed hyper feel cum boredom. Totally blank about the kind of feeling that is passing my brain for which I extend my thinking level, but the real trance which a Vivekananda has attained or the great Rishis have gone through is naive in me...Does that mean we are all ordinary? Let always bound by sad stricken work and work we do day in and day out. The heightened level of trance which Sadhus talk about or what we call ultimate happiness is something beyond life's miseries. During my childhood days I used a get kind of warm and happy mind which I miss these days. The freedom to play, do pranks and naughty stuff s and let alone not to get into tensions and troubles... that is childhood .Exaggerated freedom I should say...isn't it so? Free life ...no thinking!!!

The Ultimate happiness what all wanted to achieve, will that be ultimately what we get after death and not in our life?Striving daily ...after reading Vivekananda s book Karma yogam...which says about the ultimate secret of life..."Work without thinking about the fruition of work" ... is a secret which is very difficult to attain in fact..But what does this say all about our life? It is sometimes sad and sometimes happy. The mind wave is working all time getting into thoughts as high as Higher consciousness. Do we need a sixth sense and what it is all about? And many talk about "Out of Body Experience"."Pschycosis" is it different from the mystical trance or enlightenment or are they connected? Why does some trauma make us into a state of coma? I just don't understand. I don't understand what this is all about.

Working day and night I get some kind of satisfaction .Through the daily chores of going in a bus and watching new new faces, each an identity, brilliant enough to break the ice. And then all is a story or dream and it just passes on and on. But then my love for Krishna is on .I just wanted to woo him and I sing and dance in the glory of God. The bhajans makes me apt for a transitional state of freedom and then into a happy state. When I read and write or in fact work I really achieve a kind of satisfaction to an extent to Bliss. A Sanyasi s life is very difficult but still they can lay calm and attain enlightenment easier I guess by detachment to worldly pleasures. But what about a karma yogi or a bhakti yogi who want to attain enlightenment...is it not really difficult than the prior? When the aim is to attain salvation and one which is bhakti yogam I can't imagine the difficult path one may have to traverse .And that true happiness may be beyond and far. And after how long dashabdakala one may twine with eternal bliss.But unconditional love towards God is not achievable for all. It's an art of mind or some people are borne with it. Cultivating it is also /growing daily /accumulating love I should say vast love ...I just want to throw out that love in the form of something or I will just break my heart out of love for God. It's like a heavy waterfall gushing out and falling very intensely. Blindly loving or unconditional love whatever happens is called Bhakti and it just comes out of heart as a fluid moving in the air through the ether...

I don't know...It makes me sad and sometimes terribly happy but all in all i love it...Falling in love each time for that "Supreme"...

Exuberance as to break my heart and deepened sadness as to break my heart that is my love for Krishna... :)