Nothing - ness

I have smeared the lucky gem of opportunities

I have sacked myself into an introversive subjugate
And let not I be a mere hath of a wonder chap
Who will let me know of my words and deeds?
As I don’t know what I am into and up to
Though shall I not get into captivation?
To me life is a joy ride of no responsibilities
Still clinking onto commitments and rules bounded
That is the real mystery of this ride
Until I lean and bestow my happiness before you
And I am retired at an old age of no fun I guess
With wrinkled skin and wretched time of no time
Struck to the core self and fettered to the deep roots
Of secrets, of mystery of life, of experiences carved
Whom no one knows other than the self
Then what knowledge have I gained to touch the heaven
Nothing and Nil of myself
The lasting capture of life is Nothing-ness
Or absolute No!